Balance for Better


Today we celebrate the woman in her entirety. How do we do this? by revelling in your true self. The real you. How can we, as women, find ways to juggle work, kids and live if we haven’t found a way to enjoy our own selves.
What do I mean? Loving yourself. If we cannot love the skin we are in, we cannot balance or manage the life we are in. Our reality.
I speak as a woman who battled self-esteem issues. Issues that I have conquered. No more am I a slave to conforming to societal rules and what they consider ‘normal’. In becoming a confident #thick10z I can constructively create a space at work and home that I love. I am no longer fearful of what others may think. What I will be judged by.
Now that I can walk in my truth that I will never have a #thighgap, but I do have #thickthighs, I can embrace what others may seem negative as them reflecting or projecting. We don’t need to always have a cooked meal, or folded laundry. We can be happy with the career we choose even if it may take us away from our children. It all starts by finding out true selves, our own reality and embracing it.
Today let’s love our true selves. I am a Caribbean, Trinbagonian woman. I’ve got #naturalhair and #melinatedskin. I love my #curvybody. I love my #rollsandfolds. I #lovetheskinimin.
This is me. This is #BodyUpTT. Balancing myself, so I can be better for my children and those around me.
Balance starts by truly loving yourself.

*Crop that photo”

I started speaking about my battle with words and body acceptance late last year. About being bullied to silence myself and show my thickness to the masses. Why? Because ‘You’ do not understand. 

I can apologise for words spoken that was not in alignment, or maybe doing something I should not have, but to apologise for my ‘flat’ tummy (the L is silent), I won’t. I won’t be silent anymore. I shall speak up for those who are a size 10 and over. 

We continue to pressure others into living a truth that isn’t theirs. Your idea of a sexy body isn’t mine. Your toned, defined, ripped abs aren’t what I sport daily. Why impart that reality to my own? Why insist that I should look the same as you or the women in magazines?

I used to live with being subjected to hurtful words for years, being told that the extra fluff is only enough to be bedded. “With that size no man will want you.” I say, “No More! !” Just to clarify, I want ‘myself’, big hips and thunder thighs. 

Keep your biased opinion, your brainwashed thoughts and enjoy it’s comfort. I will sport my flabby, fleshy, fatty tummy-with-no-tuck the way I want.

I am not a size zero, nor a size 5. I’m a woman who loves every extra crease, fold and crumpled up stomach because it’s mine. Mine to love. Mine to admire. Mine to adore. If it’s not your cup of koolaid, then go drink your Coke to the back. I’m enjoying the view from my mirror and it says ‘Fabulous’.

I’m sorry (not sorry) if my #BodyUp seem to be dimming your perception of beauty. I’m here to change those thoughts, because huntay ‘I am beautiful. Period.’
📸 Cred @faculty.films (instagram)

Good morning beautiful


She felt the stir. She was once an early riser. One who did not await the dawn, but since you came into her life, she slept a little later. It wasn’t a laziness that kept her eyes shut. No. Nothing of the sort. It was the thought of you awakening her.
She knew that special way you woke her up, and it became an addiction. Every morning when she felt you stir, she would squeeze her eyes closer, feigning sleep, just to be awakened by that special way you do.
She felt the stir and wiggled her buttocks closer to you. It was not for warmth, but pleasure. Your hand played an erotic song on her arms. From shoulder, to finger tips. Her eyes were still closed. Maybe you knew it was her game, her way. Maybe. Every morning, known or unknown, you would start with reconnecting your palm with her curves.
Reliving vivid dreams of the night, and finding new depths to discover. When your hand did the relearning phase your lips followed the trail. Each hand, each leg. When the coldness of lips, reached the inner thighs, feigning anything was an unwelcome fiat. She could not continue the lie. Her eyes fluttered open, mirroring surprise and that other glint you knew was seen only through your own world. Her hunger.
She was hungry. Every interval you took to caress her, then seek out the confirmation through her soul, you saw raw hunger. Right then you wanted to satiate but it was morning. She had to be awaken with a positive mind. It was the only way you knew to begin new choices. You wanted her to always choose you.
As you gazed upon her hunger, your tongue stretched forth to taste the centre of her woman. The core space that may have been tarnished, and shattered, but now healed. You looked up as her eyes closed and her hand slipped up to her breast. Your tongue dancing to her melody, her hands playing its own beat. You watched and smelt the shift. It first smelt musky, now, it took the scent of her. A pungent, sexy smell. The scent any man would never want to lose. The scent that kept you coming home each night just to know. Understand. She opened up her life flower and you got lost. Raising yourself to be parallel her body, you took your shaft, now hard and ready, and eased yourself slowly into her. Every second meant another bit entering. With all inside, and her both hands now near the middle of your back, you leaned down on her while thrusting in.
“Good morning beautiful”

Naked series


We all change with the times. Some of us evolve yearly, others through phases of life. Our opinions also are revamped and reevaluated over those pertinent crossroads. I would like to make a few entries on my personal space to explain my ideology behind the ‘baring of my soul’. Welcome to the ‘Naked Series’.

NB. If you are not open to differences in life, to acceptance of self, to gain knowledge, then please do not venture futher. For those who are interested in knowing more, please continue reading.

I was always considered ‘a different child’. My personal quest for knowledge had me reading dictionaries and encyclopedias from a young age. I wanted to learn more, read more, understand everything. This drive allowed ideologies and teachings that were shown to me, to be viewed through different lens.

As such, my personal thoughts on pornography were what some would consider ‘askewed’. While some of us have been programed to view naked pictures on social media as pornographic, there are those who consider the naked body as a normal part of life. Its not viewed as a sex symbol, but nature. A humanistic creation to be celebrated and not just satisfied. Nakedness isnt being without clothes but being open to embrace what the world has to offer. What the world has distorted. It’s refreshing.
I say all of this to explain my journey of ‘baring myself’. I can see the excitement, the thrill and the anxiety. My personal viewing I seemed natural with it. Like this was something I usually do. It wasn’t. It was my absolute first time being without clothes in front of someone you are not being intimate with. Baring clothes is considered normal when you are to be intimate with a partner. Taking your clothes off to be photographed is not the same. This experience does give a different giddy emotion that could be synced with alcohol.
To me it’s empowering. It’s invigorating. It’s anxious at first, then a freedom of knowing nothing stands between you and the lens becomes your focal point. To me, it emotes a soothing effect on thoughts, and ideas. You can now embrace uniqueness, and appreciate those who are considered ‘abnormal’.

Here is my personal requirements for such a photo session:

Fundamental. Key. The epitome of a full body naked photo shoot. Find someone you are comfortable with. Find someone trust worthy. Someone who respects your body and his/hers. Someone who does not view you as a person their to be victimised. It’s hard but ask questions before hand. See how they respond to your words. Meet a few times before and become acquainted with them. If possible, go to some photo shoots to get a better understanding of who and what you are dealing with. Find reviews on past work and interaction they would’ve done.

Question Everything
Question everything. Lighting? How many people will be their? Location? What is required? Likes/dislikes? Boundaries?
Do not assume and then cry foul when something happens that you did not agree with. If possible, make a list of questions before hand to ask the photographer. Ask other models if you can, about their experiences. What they did? Who they used? Do not believe any question is a bad question. It is not. Even during the moment you may have a question that wasn’t asked before, still ask. The photographer should not become agitated with any questions posed to them.

Being naked has been publicized as a disrespectful subject. It is not. It is a form of respect to your body. Photographing it in different ways to express yourself should not be considered wrong and it is not. Respect yourself and your photography partner, and the experience would be a memorable. Enjoy the process and respect all that wpuld b involved in what would be considered the epic shot.

I am beautiful
Yes you are. Curves and folds. Do not try to become ‘one’ with yourself. Some of us can attain all that power before. Others develop this during or even after your naked photo shoot. Just remember to chant this whilst taking directions from your photographer. “I am Beautiful!”. Easy but hard. Repeat it ever so often. Smile when encouraged but always sing this so you won’t become scared and shy away into an introvert world that was already created.

Now that we have an idea what’s required, what is needed, I am sure the actual experience is what you are interested in reading.
My next blog post will deal with that part. Until then…….keep loving yourself.DSC03039.jpg

Of thoughts and dreams

For a writer inspiration comes from the weirdest places. One area would be their personal life. This can either be good or bad.
Today I struggle with a thought I have. “I want you!!”. Simple and straight to the point. Yes, it is real.
You make my writing better. Powerful. Dreamy. You make me want to create epic pieces. I cant, on any level, just write and hope you like it. I want to make sure that what I do write, produce, is worthy of your eyes only. It doesnt matter what others may say, your opinion is the only one I seek out.
Then I have that moment, where I don’t ask. I dont ‘send you a new chapter ‘, and sit twiddling, hoping you find it. Hoping you seek out my words just as I search for your approval.
In my waiting, the idea of you lurking on my page, stalking my pictures, stirs every emotion possible, leaving me conflicted, wounded, and, in your own way, loved.
I know the possibilities would’ve been endless. Our creation would’ve been the reason others live. Together, the universe would’ve bowed to the powers we both wielded. Together, reality and dreams would entwine, producing a new world order. Our world would have been a force.
When I die, I hope I can be reborn as music. This way I know I would always be close. To you first, to others after. To the music I shall never buy. You are not for sale.


Joined an insta #dailywordprompt for the month of November and loving it. While I may not have the urge to finish my personal writing projects, when given a prompt it sesms my juices go on overdrive. 

So far it’s a sensual ride. One that, even though I started late, I am enjoying. It’s hard having to create spontaneously, it’s even harder when you have to incorporate words given by a total stranger. I sincerely hope that in writing these there is some kind of notoriety that comes with it, and it helps my despair.

My humble thanks to those who started this #novembernoir prompting on instagram. I totally am enjoying myself so far. For those who are insta followers, find me @angel_the_author for more. Here is one entry for the #naughtynovembernoir. I do hope you enjoy. Don’t forget to say ‘hi’ in the comments.

Is this an illusion my eyes hath seen

A figment of an imagination  uncontrollable?

Is that skin, lips doth graze and lick and pay homage to?

I seeth not flesh upon flesh.

I seeth not skin touching skin.

I seeth not hands that once grasped my buttocks as my neck arched to embrace a girth so strong.

My eyes doth behold a dangerous liaison between someone who once was mine.

His treachery is seen with every whisper as he secretly keeps his adulterous affair to himself.

But his hands confirmed he touched another when it lingered on my curves.
#naughtynovembernoir #dailyprompts #dailychallenge #instapoets #instawriters #wordprompts #wordgasm #literotica #erotica #eroticauthor #eroticwriter #sexywords #ilovewords #instaprompts


Today I will be venturing to my nearest town area with ideas of selling jewelry I created. All original pieces. All done by hand. I am excited and a bit scared. One day fashion calls for big clunky pieces, next day it ask for small elegant ones. People have different taste in colours and style. All I will be asking is that they see it and feel the urge to check it out.

These were all done in a space of three days. Yes, three days. With seed beads I had awaiting other bigger, beads. I figured I had those laying around so why not put them to use. They are a bit simple but trust me it took a few mins to get them together.

I just wanted you to know this. I am an author/writer and a jewelry artiste. I love writing. I have projects finished, just sitting watching me from a distance, in my google drive. Calling me with the crook if their fingers, and stirring a pot of procrastination, mixing in fear every hour. 

Today I am on the road to creating an income for myself. I pray that as I go out it will be a success and then I can focus a tad more on my new project, (like I dont have enough finished projects to deal with). So guys, your dream may be within your reach but we can do a lil side tracking every now and then. Definitely nit procrastinate, and be fearful, but take a few minutes to digest and go forward. Be positive we can do it.
Stay focused.

Project in the making

Detective Ignacius Montgomery had been an officer on the force for ten years. His reputation for solving crimes and apprehending his suspect superseded his fellow counterparts. He never rested until someone was caught for any major crime, and convicted for it at most. Tonight he felt the end of his time as an officer and detective, creep up his arm and settle in his stomach, as he watched the new crime scene unfold. Everything about the crime scene spoke to his subconscious yet he pressed forward, ignoring the hair standing on his neck and the stench burning into his nostrils and brains. He felt the water stinging his eyelids and blinked a few times in succession so it could be warded off. Yes, Detective Montgomery should have walked away from this particular scene and handed it to another associate but he didn’t. He walked around the room, fingering the different items with latex covered hands. Watching, making mental and physical notes. Adjusting to the stink and the lighting. Feeling for ‘something’ in the unknown. When he laid down next to the victim, those around should have been alerted by his unusual behaviour, but they were not attuned to his actions. He knew that should not have happened but he did it anyway. He laid down right next to the body and moved only when the coroner came. Only then did he relinquish his side of the bed with blatant reluctance. He knew his time was close to leaving the force upon that first sign of weakness and decided then to give in his resignation letter. Next question would be ‘how soon?’ How soon should he walk into the office of his superior and relinquish his rights to ‘fight crime’. He would be bombarded with questions, and they would try to manipulate him into staying, but he wouldn’t. He won’t succumb to the words given. Those illustrious words that would make another man’s head swell with pride. No, his head would be sunk deep in the sand while eating his daily dose of humble pie. Detective Montgomery wasn’t the same after he saw the crime scene.

What alerted those around him was his reaction to the name of the victim. His counterparts turned in silence, each stealing a glance his way when they heard the audible breath intake. Ms. Valerie Von Shlooemen lay down so peacefully in her deathly raiment that you had to take a few minutes for the vision to sink in. She was beautiful and alluring to look at, even as her skin paled in comparison. Her soft features still held your gaze even if it were lifeless hollow eyes mirroring your own. She still grasped your attention while slumped in her deathly stare.

Montgomery’s breathing normalized instantly, but for that sharp intake which also had an adverse effect on his posture.

Montgomery reluctantly removed his eyes from the body being wheeled out and followed the other officers back to the crime scene. Watching every picture being taken, every glass being handle with care and precision (not to get them tainted). Every person in his purview was given the same look as they worked feverishly to collect clues and items surrounding the death.

Montgomery did what any officer would have done and wrote in his journal. Noting his time of arrival and all other personal information. He then gave the signal to wrap things up in the apartment and made his way to the station so he can write his report. Know one noticed the shift in his shoulders or the sluggishness in his walk as he continued his normal routine, but he knew. He knew that this was the end of a career and he accepted it just as he had to accept the death of Ms. Shclooemen.

Take it back

Women always get called names when it comes to love and sexuality. They are labeled the worst. However, who stated that a ‘hoe’ is a derogatory term? Who said that a ‘gold digger’ means that it’s a bad thing?

Wanting more in a relationship especially financial, means you are looking to dig for gold in another person’s yard? Ahm, where do you want me to dig? In my own? Have you ever heard people looking in their own space for gold or diamonds and being successful? There are the few that have struck gold or rubies in their own space. Made a name for themselves without any help from others and with tools and space given to them, but you must get out your comfort zone and stretch across others just to grasp your own. Just my humble opinion.

Be serious. You know that meeting the absolute right one won’t fall into your lap like a perfect gift. Women multi dating isn’t acceptable but a man multi dating is him either sowing his oats or searching. Yes, women outnumber men today, yes, more women are out there, I believe it is only fair that women search even harder for the right one. If sex is involved then that is ‘big people business’. Doesn’t mean she should walk around with ‘A Scarlet A’ on her chest, and a drum boy to declare her presence. (See the Lady with the Scarlet Letter – both movie and a book).

I won’t be dramatical (and I could be), I am just saying that we can start owning those words and not make them become a bitter taste in our mouth. Okay, I do not expect anyone to wake up tomorrow and be accepting such hate to be spewed and be happy but gradually I think we can. Turn the hoe around. Take your gold digging life style and be profitable, then maybe show others the ‘how to’. Start from today not to accept those words that are considered hateful and make them powerful.

I am just saying.

Stay beautiful and strong women.


I am already a fat girl in a world where slim chicks rule and now i have to battle being alone. 

Being told, to my face, that “you will always be the plus in the +one” was a tongue stiller. I couldn’t find a quick come-back retort. So i did what any other ‘fat girl’ would’ve done and smiled, nodded and walked away. It was only in the ‘walking’ did the remark touch my ‘feeling string’ and i sniffed myself to a taxi. Conpletely forgetting what i had initially left the house for. 

Being alone was not an issue, wasn’t even a thought until the #hater said those words to me. I was blissfully accepting that prince charming didnt make an entrance yet as i had more ‘#bodylove’ to accept. More to understand. More to receive so i can give freely and without bias. Then this happened. 

Words echoed are not easily taken back. I had to reaffirm myself and years that i took to build my esteem and my confidence started from ground zero once again. 

Why would ‘you’ think that it is half funny to project your insecurities on me? You already have the built of a super model and child

Why the need to remind me of my whale life that clearly still affects your sexy? Maybe next time you should rethink your words and instead of spew hate and despise, show love, care and support. Build instead of break. Give instead of take. Its harder to put a frown, so much easier to make a smile. Encourage and not discourage. 

So for the girl who figured i needed to be reminded of my single life, thank you. Now i can remind myself that i am and will always be beautiful both inside and out. I think for a moment i sort a got cocky and forgot that i am unique and uncloneable. 

Reaffirm your sexy. 

Stay beautiful.