Of thoughts and dreams

For a writer inspiration comes from the weirdest places. One area would be their personal life. This can either be good or bad.
Today I struggle with a thought I have. “I want you!!”. Simple and straight to the point. Yes, it is real.
You make my writing better. Powerful. Dreamy. You make me want to create epic pieces. I cant, on any level, just write and hope you like it. I want to make sure that what I do write, produce, is worthy of your eyes only. It doesnt matter what others may say, your opinion is the only one I seek out.
Then I have that moment, where I don’t ask. I dont ‘send you a new chapter ‘, and sit twiddling, hoping you find it. Hoping you seek out my words just as I search for your approval.
In my waiting, the idea of you lurking on my page, stalking my pictures, stirs every emotion possible, leaving me conflicted, wounded, and, in your own way, loved.
I know the possibilities would’ve been endless. Our creation would’ve been the reason others live. Together, the universe would’ve bowed to the powers we both wielded. Together, reality and dreams would entwine, producing a new world order. Our world would have been a force.
When I die, I hope I can be reborn as music. This way I know I would always be close. To you first, to others after. To the music I shall never buy. You are not for sale.

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A new path

Lately i have been feeling lost. My connection to looking beyond is slipping. I cant seem to find the silver lining. I know my destination, but the path isn’t outlined so i cant follow a pattern.
I am creating my own pattern but its hard. I dont have a clear idea how to get “there”, but i do know i want to be “there”.
I know i should take a bus, however, which bus isnt specified and where to get on or off isnt in the handbook. All i want is for that cloud to be removed, that horizon to not be pushed back further. All i want, is a new thought/idea/beginning. Maybe then i can move forward, pushing through barriers, paving a path for others to follow.
I read about these people who followed their dream, the idea sparked in them. I listen to videos that encourage you to follow your own path and blaze a trail, but i don’t quite seem to grasp exactly how they did it. I mean, someone did see the value in giving ‘the rock’ a chance to become a wrestler, even though his dad was a part of it. I am not giving up on knocking doors, just not sure how many more doors to knock on.
I shall continue my search, in the mean time, please help me to stay focus. Thank you for reading.