Take it back

Women always get called names when it comes to love and sexuality. They are labeled the worst. However, who stated that a ‘hoe’ is a derogatory term? Who said that a ‘gold digger’ means that it’s a bad thing?

Wanting more in a relationship especially financial, means you are looking to dig for gold in another person’s yard? Ahm, where do you want me to dig? In my own? Have you ever heard people looking in their own space for gold or diamonds and being successful? There are the few that have struck gold or rubies in their own space. Made a name for themselves without any help from others and with tools and space given to them, but you must get out your comfort zone and stretch across others just to grasp your own. Just my humble opinion.

Be serious. You know that meeting the absolute right one won’t fall into your lap like a perfect gift. Women multi dating isn’t acceptable but a man multi dating is him either sowing his oats or searching. Yes, women outnumber men today, yes, more women are out there, I believe it is only fair that women search even harder for the right one. If sex is involved then that is ‘big people business’. Doesn’t mean she should walk around with ‘A Scarlet A’ on her chest, and a drum boy to declare her presence. (See the Lady with the Scarlet Letter – both movie and a book).

I won’t be dramatical (and I could be), I am just saying that we can start owning those words and not make them become a bitter taste in our mouth. Okay, I do not expect anyone to wake up tomorrow and be accepting such hate to be spewed and be happy but gradually I think we can. Turn the hoe around. Take your gold digging life style and be profitable, then maybe show others the ‘how to’. Start from today not to accept those words that are considered hateful and make them powerful.

I am just saying.

Stay beautiful and strong women.

Advertisements

Compromise?

compromise

 

noun

  1. 1.

an agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.

“eventually they reached a compromise”

synonyms: agreementunderstandingsettlement, terms, accommodation; More
  1. 2.

the expedient acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable.

“sexism should be tackled without compromise”

verb

  1. 1.

settle a dispute by mutual concession.

“in the end we compromised and deferred the issue”

synonyms: meet each other halfway, find the middle ground, come to terms, come to an understanding, make a deal, make concessions, find a happy medium, strike a balance; More
  1. 2.

expediently accept standards that are lower than is desirable.

“we were not prepared to compromise on safety”

 

I have many a pet peeve that I would be sharing with you guys, and probably soon but let’s talk about the word stated above. I cannot even find myself to constantly type it, as it annoys the finger-tips of my hands. I seriously despise it to be honest.

Today while chatting with a young lady who screams me in so many ways (lol), we got to talking about the word stated above. I am not a fan. I am not excited about the word. I don’t know who invented it. I really, truly wish they didn’t but it is here so I deal with it as such. Don’t think I will ever be, and I am not a believer in it either. Period. My own view.

My honest perspective is this word screams “cheating” to me. For some it may say stability, or love but me, nope, a whole different angle. A whole different space. A whole different outlook. A whole different ideology when it comes to the word above.

I see the word concession also listed, (meaning – a thing that is granted, especially in response to demands), and I get chills with just the thought.

So basically I am accepting standards due to a demand being made? Again, another chilling word ‘demand’. The more we go in-depth, the more the word subtly points to ‘cheating’. It is what I see when I hear or read, giving in to demands. This is submitting to another person whose insistence is overpowering than your own beliefs.

How you may ask? Compromise isn’t used unless two people are agreeing to sacrifice (don’t get me started on that word), certain aspects of their personal lives for the ‘greater good’. (Whose greater good though?) Example, two persons agreeing that one will stop smoking, for instance, because the other, basically, demands that it’s done. Demands? Demands.

But is the smoker ready to give up a practice that they have nurtured over a period of time? Are they truly ready to resist the temptation because someone else voiced that it is bad or not a habit to continue?

This is where cheating comes in my point of view. The smoker in this scenario, may conform to the idea but secretly be yearning for a cigarette. They did not make an agreement with themselves, but due to a demand, a supply basically was given. Over a period of time, I think, the smoker here would start resenting and even cheat a few times to satisfy their own demand, for something they did because of another.

Now my take on this is, let’s do things not for others but for ourselves. The smoker should not be forced to give up their habit, they should become more aware of how their habit affects others, and create their own way of dealing with the situation.

If you truly can change a habit because you know that it will affect your partner/friend/life, and you have accepted that it isn’t just for someone else, then moving forward the decision is easier to accept, handle, and continually live with. This decision was not a demand made but an agreement with your own self to change things for someone, or something you like.

Let us not get ahead of ourselves. The smoker realizes that the habit isn’t nurturing to their relationship and prefers to have a better understanding than a str4ained one, then they make a decision for themselves. The other way would be considered peer pressure.

Let us not pressure others into conforming to our ideas, our thoughts our beliefs. We are created with a different finger-print, this can stem to different ideas. Your thoughts differs to others so do not force it on to the rest of us.

Voice your opinion. Not demand that your voice is heard. Share not dictate. Let your friend know that their ‘smoking’ can be detrimental but don’t give ultimatums. You can lose that one friend with just a simple demand.

We are all made to experience things in different ways. Let’s make sure we project that to those around us.

 

Stay true to you.

Take it back

Women always get called names when it comes to love and sexuality. They are labeled the worst. However, who stated that a ‘hoe’ is a derogatory term? Who said that a ‘gold digger’ means that it’s a bad thing?

Wanting more in a relationship especially financial, means you are looking to dig for gold in another person’s yard? Ahm, where do you want me to dig? In my own? Have you ever heard people looking in their own space for gold or diamonds and being successful? There are the few that have struck gold or rubies in their own space. Made a name for themselves without any help from others and with tools and space given to them, but you must get out your comfort zone and stretch across others just to grasp your own. Just my humble opinion.

Be serious. You know that meeting the absolute right one won’t fall into your lap like a perfect gift. Women multi dating isn’t acceptable but a man multi dating is him either sowing his oats or searching. Yes, women outnumber men today so yes, more women are out there, so I believe it is only fair that women search even harder for the right one. If sex is involved then that is ‘big people business’. Doesn’t mean she should walk around with ‘A Scarlet A’ on her chest, and a drum boy to declare her presence. (See the Lady with the Scarlet Letter).

I won’t be dramatical (and I could be), I am just saying that we can start owning those words and not make them become a bitter taste in our mouth. Okay, I do not expect anyone to wake up tomorrow and be accepting such hate to be spewed and be happy but gradually I think we can. Turn the hoe around. Take your gold digging life style be profitable and then maybe show others the ‘how to’. Start from today not to accept those words that are considered hateful and make them powerful.

I am just saying.

Stay beautiful and strong women.